3rd weed at Ihop update

Hi all! I appreciate all your prayers as I traveled home for my grandfather's funeral. I was able to get through it physically though taxing. Please continue to remember my family in prayer for peace and comfort. One night in the prayer room during an intercession set the chorus of "Who is ready, He is coming" was sung prophetically. The reality of this really struck my heart and how my focus really needs to be on getting myself ready for His return. I know one major way of doing this that is talked about here is the principle of "Beholding to Become". Basically, whatever we look at and behold is what we become. So I need to be so fascinated with Jesus to behold Him all the time in order to bring this transformation to be like Him--therefore making myself ready. Understanding this is producing a much greater desire to lay down everything for the sake of worshipping Him and Him alone. More love inside of me cries out to give my time, gifts, prayer, and life to this call to worship Him and Behold Him. At church this week, during worship I asked the Holy Spirit what He thought about me. I clearly heard Him say that He likes being around me! That's one of the reasons why His Spirit was sent to dwell inside of me because He loves and delights in me. He wanted to be that much closer to me. Wow! Daddy loves me and you so much! This week we had a new teacher for our Song of Songs class. Through his teaching, the Spirit revealed to me that growing up I isolated myself from my family and friends as far as sharing inner turmoil and deep things in my heart. And because I got so used to do this in the natural, it carried over into relating to Jesus. This opened the door for shame and rejection to take root in my heart connection with Jesus. And as scripture shows, this explains why its so easy for me to "tend others gardens" instead of my own. Basically, getting the focus off of my own heart and what's going on by caring for others and helping them with their hearts. This explains why its easy for me to give than receive when it comes to the matters of the heart and friends. I see through this teaching that I must tend my own heart with Jesus' help. Jesus even spent the majority of his life (30 years) tending his own heart before stepping into a few years of public ministry. Jesus isn't the means to an end of finally reaching a calling or ministry status. Rather, my sole purpose really is bringing God pleasure because HE is the end all. Finally, today is our day off and I was planning on going to the Awakening service tonight but by the time I got there worship was over. I could feel the Spirit calling me alone so I went back to the apartment to be alone with Jesus. I ended up praying, soaking, receiving for other 2 and half hours! I got totally rocked with revelation concerning the New Jerusalem and living for higher/heavenly things. I know I don't fully understand all of this yet so bear with me. In Colossians 3 Paul writes that we need to set our eyes and hearts on things above rather than earthly things. Looking up the original language of this, it is in reference to Christ's second coming. This same "above" word is used in other passages that mention the New Jerusalem (Revelation 3 and 21). Reading this about the Bride being adorned with beauty and the new name really stirred me because I so want to live my life here on earth to make myself ready for this! Hebrews 12:14-29 also talks about the seriousness of this for Christians. I don't want to miss this inheritance offered to get the reward after Jesus returns. It says here that everything created will be shaken so that all that is left is that of the Kingdom and eternal. So I see this as a need in my heart and mind. So I ask that God would come and shake from me mindsets, heart beliefs, and the outward way I live that is still of the world (that which was created)so the eternal perspective can take root and grow. Philippians 3:12-21 also demonstrates this concept to Christians who want to live in maturity. But as Paul says, many christians live as enemies of the cross instead by living in such a way that their "god is their stomach". This really hit me because we live of the world so much, looking to the things of the world to satisfy our desires which God created for HIMSELF only to fulfill. I definitely don't have this all figured out or know what this practically looks like but what I do know is that I want to turn to God for my entertainment, joy, fulfillment foremost. I think as a whole, we have allowed ourselves to become dull and insensitive by this over stimulated culture and world. In doing so, the raw and realness of God has become boring instead of fascinating, awing, and gripping our hearts. Just as an example...just the other day some interns went to go see a movie that had just come out. Originally before coming here, this movie was one that I was really looking forward to seeing. But I know change has begun in my heart because when I heard they were going, there was absolutely no pull in my heart to want to go and see it. Now please hear my heart because I'm not saying that all movies are good or bad to enjoy. But I am saying that living on this earth, we have allowed our senses to be dulled by earthly means instead of being filled, enjoyed, and satisfied by the Holy One. We really have no excuse to ever say we are bored (I am talking to myself too!) or have nothing to do. Because one truth and thought of who God is should keep us thinking and meditating and enjoying for hours! I have begun to experience this in my heart while here as I take time to behold who God is and it is awakening my heart in new exciting ways...I want to live this way, fully alive. Selah Kyle

First Week at IHOP

Alright everyone! Wednesdays are our days off so I’m going to plan to write a note/update then so you all can hear whats going on here. Shortly after arriving and registering for orientation week, we had our first group meeting. In this meeting, one of the leaders said that she has been praying for all of the FITN interns and she heard the Lord say Psalm 25:14 for us- “The friendship (secret counsel) of the Lord is for those who fear him”. This really went deep in my spirit cause this is one of the main reasons I feel I am- to really seek and develop friendship to a new level with the Lord. Adjusting to the night schedule hasn’t been as bad as I thought either. The first night was the hardest since I had already gotten up early for my flight and then we to stay up til 4am. Now my body is pretty set as I get up at 2:30pm and go to bed by 7am. There are about 60 or so interns ranging from 18-30. Everyone is from all over the states and its really amazing the level of unity we are already forming together since we spend most of the day together. Each day does vary for our scheduled events but to give you an idea for the week: MONDAY and TUESDAY 6pm meal 9pm class 11pm meal Midnight-6am Prayer Room THURSDAY 5:30 meal 6:30-10pm class 11pm meal Midnight-6am Prayer Room FRIDAY and SATURDAY 5pm meal 6pm-10:30pm Awakening/Revival Service 11pm meal Midnight-2am class 3am-6am Prayer Room SUNDAY 5pm meal 6pm-8pm Church 11pm meal Midnight-6am Prayer Room Since we do spend a lot of time in the prayer room, we were encouraged to write down a potential time schedule so we don’t end up wasting time or aimlessly wandering inside or in our minds. So this is what I felt of the Lord to do, but of course this isn’t set in stone as the Spirit leads. Midnight- 1am Pray in Spirit and engage in worship 1am-2am Prayers for family, friends, church, etc & join IHOP prayer focus 2am-3am Pray in Spirit and engage in worship 3am-4am Bible study and Scripture Meditation 4am-5am Class Reading Assignments 5am-6am Pray in Spirit and engage in worship For me personally, so far the Lord has really been speaking to me a lot about inheritance and walking out the fullness of God in my own life. This is a big subject but God is gradually unpacking what this means. I can feel this transforming my heart and life in deep ways too. This man Jesus is becoming so real to me in a personal way. Alot of christians think we know God but in reality we don’t. We don’t understand the true nature and attributes of God so this is what I’m learning for myself. I’m falling more in love with Him as I truly behold on His beauty...this is only the beginning!! Also, I did audition to be involved with worship and just found out today that I was accepted for both keys and voice. So now I just have to be asked to sub on a team. God is good!

What Holds YOU Back??

Tonight I was led to read Ephesians 4:17-5:21. As I read, some key thoughts and truth were highlighted to me. So I want to first ask you to ask yourself, what holds you back from doing what you really have in your heart to do? Those dreams and desires for great and awesome things that you had when you were a child? Because I bet you they are still there..and I also guarantee that somehow they tie into what God's calling and purpose is for you. So again, what is keeping you from pursuing those very things?? I can't answer this for you but what I do see for myself is it comes down to what I believe and think in my heart. The scripture in verses 18 and 19 reveal that what keeps us from walking out in fullness what God has for us is "ignorance, due to their hardness of heart". If we aren't walking out our lives to our fullest potential, it is only because of our own lack of trust, faith, belief in ourselves and God. The Lord has been revealing to me the power of the heart and just how much the heart dictates what we believe and live out. It has been my prayer for months and months to experience more of God's love and to know him deeper...yet I feel like nothing has really changed. The Lord spoke to me that if I want to experience and see more of Him, I must first OPEN UP my heart to Him more so He can then fill it to a greater capacity. I unknowingly have been keeping myself back from being known by Him and others. This is only hurting me and keeping me in a state of stagnation while my heart yearns for more. I know I can't live this way any longer. In chapter 5:1-2 the Lord revealed such a simple yet profound picture to me. Paul writes "Be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love..." I can picture a child wanting to be like their daddy...trying to talk and copy EVERYTHING he does. In that same manner, we are to imitate our daddy in heaven and walk in love..though we may stumble sometimes. Love is the greatest aim as well in this. Later on in verse 15 & 16, Paul writes to "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the BEST USE of time". In asking what is the best use of our time?? Well Paul explains that God's will for the best use of our time is being FILLED with the Spirit, giving THANKS in all things, and SUBMITTING to one another. I think that if we all lived our lives this way, we would all see drastic changes. So I see that my mindsets and hardness of heart is what holds me back to settle for less than what is available for me to talk in daily. Because God's will is to come and fill me as I stumble to imitate and walk like my daddy. So I encourage you to throw off all fear, rejection, and wounds to test God's word in your own life. Let's see the difference and start walking and living the life that God has for each of us. You with me?

Internship

I will be going to Kansas City, Missouri on June 30 for 3 months to intern at the International House of Prayer. I'm really looking forward to this time away and believe that God is going to do amazing, life transforming work in me. I know this will be a journey so I plan to keep everyone informed along the way. Please, if you have any prayer requests or feel to sow financially into this cause, please do so below. I love you all! Kyle

Grateful in the NOW

Tonight, God really hit me with revelation to be grateful in the NOW. It's exciting to think and believe for what is coming. I know without a doubt that God will fulfill the promises and prophetic words I have gotten. But He was showing me to be in the NOW and not be too future focused. Though it is good to keep the vision in sight. My heart needs to be one of gratitude in the present. Because God is doing a lot currently within me and around me. He has never left me and still is showing me His presence in everything in this journey.

I am also seeing what it means to always be in motion with the Lord. Even though from the outside it probably doesn't look like I am doing much with my life. But that's the thing, His ways are always higher than our own. So I embrace the way things seem right now and rest in knowing that He is still guiding me. Preparation, character building, and foundational disciplines are the aspects of this season I'm in. All of these are so important too since it prepares the way for the structure and establishment of something grand!

Hold On and Believe

If your wondering, I still haven't heard definitely whether I got the part in the musical. However, I'm not looking to actually get it due to how things went down yesterday. Regardless, this situation has stirred things inside of me and caused me to really evaluate and process with the Lord.

I feel like doors of opportunity are being closed again. On one hand, thats a good thing so that shows how and where God is at work. On the other hand, it leaves a feeling of disappointment and frustration to know what IS the right track or way to go. It is in this time though that standing firm and holding on to the truth and prophetic words are crucial. As I read today, I came across the beginning of Luke where it talks about John the Baptist. Right before the story of the birth of Jesus, it says "And the child grew and became strong in spirit, and he was in the wilderness until the day of his public appearance to Israel". This struck me because John remained in the wilderness until the time of his ministry. This encouraged me to know that above all that I believe I am called to do, THE most important thing is intimacy with the Lord. The time in the wilderness is so important because this time builds character and gets things all in place until the right time for God to reveal, launch and release you publicly.

So I write this to myself as well as you to embrace this time of preparation and don't allow the enemy to steal your joy. There are great adventures coming!
The chorus from this song came to mind as I wrote this so...."don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling"
"Don't Stop Believing" by Glee

Perspective Shift

Yesterday, I found out that I got a callback for a musical I auditioned for. So as I have had time to do some research on this musical, I have found that depending how the director interprets things, there are parts that could be awkward for me to perform due to being a Christian. The more I thought about this, the more I started to freak out about it. I wanted to not go through with the callback all together. So I prayed and left this dilemma at: if I get the part, then God knows I can handle it...if not, then I wasn't meant for it.

This morning, as I prayed and thought more about all of this. God began to reveal more truth and revelation concerning this. At first, I wanted to get the lead role in the musical for ME. I wanted to star in a musical. But then with the issue of some of the questionable content, I wasn't so sure about this. This however humbled me to see the bigger picture in all of this.

I know I am called to take the arts mountain back from the enemy. I can't be afraid of going into this territory that the enemy has dominated for so long. As I prayed, I began to gain strength and insight. This is an awesome opportunity to actually release light and purity into a place that's dark. So I see this now as a mission and assignment! So I am praying now for the director and cast members for God's light to shine on them that they would be cleansed and brought into holiness and righteousness. Also that I would have opportunities to radiate God's heart to everyone within my influence concerning this musical.

My conclusion is that because I am potentially a part of this musical, there is no other option BUT for the Kingdom of God to prevail. I carry a power far greater than anything or influence that the enemy can bring to the table. So I am decreeing innocent dance choreography and direction for this. And will see what the outcome will be, as far as whether I get this lead part or not.